Throughout my career I have met some really ‘interesting’ characters. By interesting I mean the absolute crap of the crap bosses. But every meeting has been a lesson, a stepping stone in my journey towards becoming a better leader.

Some of these individuals have held high positions in the public eye and appear to the public as reliable and trustworthy – practically paragons of virtue. They are also skilled actors who even manage to fool their superiors, often the head honcho, with their facade that could even give Nicole Kidman a run for her money with their acting skills.

Someone give these shits an Oscar, please!

Most recently, I attended a seminar on workplace dynamics and was surprised to see a certain “someone” sitting on stage as an “esteemed” panelist.

Yes, it was none other than the queen of all managers, the one who verbally abused her staff and played manipulative games to try and bring down the junior staff and anyone she deemed a threat to her, which I, unfortunately, had the not-so-pleasant to work with. Watching her sit on stage as an ‘esteemed’ panelist was incredible.

Now let’s be fair – not all the managers I’ve met in my career have been bad. While I have dealt with some questionable individuals, I have also had the privilege of working with and learning from some truly exceptional leaders.

But this particular manager stood out as the absolute scum of the scum because of how they would try to degrade and bring down their staff, creating a toxic work environment and hindering team productivity.

“The bad leader is he whom the people despise; the good leader is he whom the people praise; the great leader is he to whom the people say: “We did it ourselves” – Peter M. Senge

Yet there they sat on stage discussing the importance of ‘psychological safety’ in the workplace. I couldn’t help but laugh as I listened to them talk about a topic they clearly didn’t practice, like shoving their face right in front of the camera on virtual calls when they were getting ready to go on a tirade about abuse the employees on the other hand.

The irony of their chosen subject, given their own behavior, was not lost on me.

But after working with one too many toxic leaders, here are five lessons I’ve learned that can help you become a great leader.

Whether you’re an existing manager or starting out in your career, you can also benefit from these lessons:

Toxic leaders often exhibit a significant lack of emotional intelligence, which includes critical components such as self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and social skills.

This deficiency not only hampers their ability to manage their emotions, but also negatively affects their interpersonal relationships, leading to dysfunctional team dynamics. Over time, this can create a toxic work environment characterized by low morale, high turnover and reduced productivity.

Prioritizing and developing emotional intelligence is essential for leaders who foster a positive, inclusive and productive organizational culture that supports individual and collective success.

2. The need for transparent communication

Toxic leaders often engage in poor communication practices, such as withholding information, spreading misinformation, or using communication as a tool for manipulation. This emphasizes the necessity of transparent, honest and open communication to build trust and ensure that everyone is aligned with the organization’s goals and values.

3. The value of respect and recognition

Now this is a big one, so pay close attention. Lack of respect and recognition for employees is one of the most obvious signs of toxic leadership, and it can have far-reaching consequences.

When leaders fail to recognize the efforts and contributions of their team, it not only leads to low morale, but also erodes trust and decreases overall motivation. Over time, employees who feel undervalued and disrespected are more likely to disengage, resulting in decreased productivity, higher absenteeism, and ultimately increased turnover.

It is extremely important to treat employees with genuine respect, regularly recognize their contributions and provide timely recognition.

Doing so helps cultivate a supportive, motivating work environment where people feel valued, appreciated and inspired to contribute their best efforts.

4. The role of ethical behavior and integrity

Toxic leaders often engage in unethical behavior such as favoritism, dishonesty, or exploitation. This emphasizes the importance of maintaining high ethical standards and integrity in management. By doing so, we build trust and set a positive example for the entire organization, reassuring our team and creating confidence in our leadership.

5. The impact of management styles on organizational health

Toxic leadership can significantly damage an organization’s culture, productivity and overall health. This highlights the importance of embracing positive leadership styles, such as transformational or authentic leadership. These styles prioritize strengthening, inspiring and developing employees for the benefit of the organization.

My experiences with toxic leaders have been both eye-opening and invaluable, shaping my understanding of what it truly means to be a good leader.

While these ‘interesting’ characters have taught me a lot about what not to do, they have also reinforced the importance of emotional intelligence, transparency, respect, ethics and adopting leadership styles that truly elevate teams.

Leadership is not about the title or the stage you are on, but about how you treat and inspire those around you.

So if you aim to lead, remember that your legacy will be defined by your influence on others, not the accolades you collect. Be the kind of leader your team deserves—not the one they fear.